Back where I need to be.

I go through phases where I ... Let me rephrase that. God is always calling out to me. It is always on my heart that I NEED Him. I need the Word and fellowship, I need accountability and guidance, I need the grace of Jesus. I go through seasons, however, where I either listen or I allow life to drown it out and drive it to the back burner. And the latter times are unquestionably when things feel so much harder. Could it be that I am not capable of handling everything on my own? Could I, just maybe, need the help of a powerful and loving Creator? The past few weeks, I have felt that gaping hole in my life more and more. Though I'd heard about it here and there for a while and done nothing, this week I finally committed to take part in the She Reads Truth community. I'm hoping that the community with other like-minded women will hold me more accountable and true to my convictions and that I won't give up (or rather, as it often seems, drift off) as easily this time. I know where I place my priorities is no one's responsibility but my own, but why else did God build the church? I pray that I can get back to the person I am supposed to be and that that will sustain me and make me the wife and mother my family deserves. I want to have a strong, Christ-centered marriage and I want to raise up Jesus-lovin' children. It all starts now.

It's a boy! (Not mine, haha.)

I'm definitely due back soon to get down all the happenings with the kids, walking and talking and preschool... but I just wanted to mark the occasion and celebrate... Jenn and Sean had a beautiful baby BOY yesterday afternoon! Nolan David finally made his entrance into the world October 9th after a lot of persuading. So happy for them. Can't wait to meet the little booger.

Little Feet

Shoes. I bought shoes today. Little bitty boy shoes. The first ones. Levi has graduated to toddlerhood. He walks. He runs. But mostly, he toddles. Somehow, without me even realizing it was happening, we went from being the parents of a baby and a toddler to being the parents of a (different) toddler and a preschooler. (Yes, G started SCHOOL this week, but more on that later.) It feels so strange to me to not have a baby in the house. They were the tiniest of toes.

Crafty Atrophy

I've been feeling the itch to do something, anything creative for a while now. I've always been crafty by nature but have never had the time or space to really stretch those muscles. Now that summer is winding down and things are settling here at home, the urge is getting unbearable. Maybe it's the knowledge that fall and winter and the holiday season are right around the corner. Maybe it's the fact that we have an extra room in the house that we currently refer to as "the craft room" (despite the fact that not one thing has been made in there, it is simply where I house all my junk with high hopes that one day soon I will set up shop). Pinterest is not helping, of course. Where all these ladies find the time and money to create all these amazing things is beyond me. All I know is that things must change soon.

My perfect little MAN.

Not a baby anymore. No sir, not him. I love it and it kills me all at the same time. Watching Levi develop more and more (every day now, it seems) is so amazing. I can't believe a little less than two years ago, he was nothing more than exciting news and possibility and now he's this definitive person with attitude and preferences and kisses for me. To think I helped make him is sometimes hard to wrap my head around. But I did and he's here and he's a big boy now, right on the verge of walking and talking, and it's all just flying by. Better soak up all the baby pudge and drooly smooches while I can!

Where were you ten years ago?

It caaaame. My first shipment from Stitch Fix showed up this week. Such a great idea, as far as I'm concerned. I like to think I've always had pretty decent taste in my head but I've never actually been able to translate it to life. Not that I would have the time or money or patience to try to make that happen anyway. Nope, it's pretty much mom-standard (just this side of bum) around here these days. That doesn't mean I don't want pretty things. That's what makes it so awesome to open my front door to find a tidy little box filled with beautiful things picked out by someone who actually knows what they're doing. With the $20 fee credited toward any purchase I make, it's definitely worth the price. They even include a tag on each item with pictures of different ways to wear them.

The first time out, I received a crocheted tank, a long black deep cut shirt, a really cute orange tank, some boot tights, and some fancy pants gold earrings. It's funny how little I seem to know about my own taste. The crocheted tank and the black shirt were both something I definitely would have walked right by in a store. I liked them both a lot when I tried them on though, much to my surprise. I ended up sending the first back because it was just a little too big in the wrong places but I was sad to see it go. The black I actually kept. The orange tank was right up my alley, something that would have ended up in a dressing room with me if I saw it on my own. On, however, it just wasn't right. I'm all torso and it was just too short. The tights went back because it's summer and I don't actually have any boots right now, so it seemed like a pointless purchase. If I find myself in need of them in a few months, at least I know I like them and I can find them again. The earrings were adorable but Levi makes that impossible right now. All in all, I was very impressed and happy with my experience. Not something I can afford to do all the time--though I would love to--but I will definitely be doing it again. Happy lady off to bed.

Milk Machine

So I fully intend to come back and post the details of our trip for posterity sake (I actually have a partial draft saved on here), but a Facebook post today brought me to a realization this morning...

It's Breastfeeding Awareness Week (or something like that) and my midwife practice asked women to total all the months, cumulatively, in their lives that they've been nursing. Gemma only completely stopped nursing maybe 6 weeks before Levi was born so I barely count that break. That means that I've been pregnant, nursing, or both almost the last 38 months. I'm both kind of taken aback (I "knew" it in the back of my head but never really stopped to actually think about it) and also quite proud of my accomplishments. And since we know we want one or two more kids, spaced pretty much the same--give or take a little--I'm curious to see where the final number ends up.

Happy milking!