6 months, 4 days.

Gemmy is six months old!! She's halfway (well, a little over) to one! This has FLOWN by. I can't believe we're already here.

She has changed so much in the past month...

1. She's so interactive. If you talk to her, she chatters right back. She laughs like crazy.
2. She's become so dexterous, loves to play with her toys. She'll spend a long time fingering and looking at the tags on things.
3. And oh! She sits up!! That was the best thing yet. She seems so much more like a little person than a baby now that she can sit right there next to you. We love it so much.
4. She actually gets interested in books now. It's great.
5. TV. While my personal convictions tell me this should be on the bad list, the way she is about TV is adorable. She only gets to watch Sesame Street, once a day when I'm on the treadmill in the morning, so it's not so bad. The thing that I love though is how she watches it. She's actually paying attention, not just looking at the colors and noises. She has her favorite characters--Abby, Elmo (ugh, of course), and her favorite of all: Murray. Not his lamb, just Murray. I think her favorite part of the show is the very, very beginning when Murray tells them the "Word on the Street." It's so cute. Anyway, enough about that.

Bad things that come with age...

1. She fights the car seat. We're talking screaming bloody murder, arching, throwing herself around. It's bad. It's impossible with Christmas too... I cannot stand trying to fight her into the seat with someone impatiently waiting for our parking spot at the mall. Grr.
2. She fights bedtime and naptime. She's always been a difficult sleeper--we've always had issues--but that seemed fundamental. This is much more of an aware thing. She knows I'm putting her to bed and she haaaates it.
3. Teething! We've been waiting for them for a couple months now and there's still nothing showing, but she's teething up a storm. Cranky, everything's in her mouth, drool-city, and she just seems down-right miserable and in pain sometimes. It's sad.
4. Fits. Oh, the fits. Drop a toy, fit. Don't hold her exactly how or when she wants, fit. Mommy or Daddy take away her snack (more on that later), almighty fit. We're talking prissy little girl fits too. I can already see the future and it ain't pretty.

So, the food. We've started her on a little baby food here and there. Nothing steady yet, which is probably against everything they tell you, but oh well. We do things a little differently sometimes. I just... I wasn't ready to completely transition to nursing less. I'm still not, honestly. All the books and Jane told us that it was perfectly acceptable to wait until six months, so that's what we decided to do for the most part. Every now and then we try something with her, just a little bit. Half for fun, half to test the waters. She's had rice cereal, applesauce, sweet potato, carrots, and pears. Well, as far as baby food goes. A couple times, we gave her some hard bread from Panera or some pizza crust from Bella Italia to gum on and she fliiiipped out. She's obsessed with it now. Everytime we go now, she stares and gets excited until you give it to her. And when you take it away, watch out.

This is her first holiday season! Halloween was uneventful. We were going to dress her up, but ended up not. We weren't really taking her anywhere, so it seemed pointless. She had a cute little outift on, though--a girly little orange shirt with a ghost on it and some black stretch pants--and helped us hand out candy at Geri's.

Thanksgiving was fun. She had sweet potatoes that night. Sat in her highchair at the table like a big girl.

But the big one is coming up... Christmas! We bought her way too much stuff, someone who doesn't really even know the world is turning. A big stack of books and a bunch of toys. She needed them though. You can never have enough books--not if you want to be smart--and all of her toys are newborn toys. We got all six to twelve month stuff cause we figure we'll update again for her birthday. It's all developmental, lights-and-sounds, interactive kind of stuff. I'm excited to see her use it.

And... okay. Guess I've gotta go. She's screeching now that she caught on to the fact that I'm still here and is throwing a nap protest. More later. Christmas stories and a new year!

4 months, 2 days.

Wow, no so quick with the updates, am I? Ouch. Well, I'm here now and that's what matters.

Gemma is now a smidgen over four months old! She's getting so big and doing so much now. She is really interactive with us, chatters constantly, laughs, smiles all the time... although the flip-side to her development is that she throws pissy fits like a real kid every now and then, haha. I'm loving every second, though. She's very interested in toys and books and things like that now, too. Her hands/whatever she can grab is always in her mouth now. We're pretty sure a tooth is on it's way.

She's still nursing up a storm. Can't get her to take a bottle, as of yet. We've tried a few times, but without success. It's honestly not a big deal to me... I love nursing and have no desire to leave her yet, but I'm sure that will change once she gets bigger. At least it'd be a useful option if we ever needed it. Like last week when I was supposed to have jury duty. I wrote a letter and got out of it, luckily, but I was pretty worried. She loves her teething cookies. We're thinking about starting some rice cereal in the next couple of weeks, but Jane said it's up to us. It's not really necessary yet.

Alsooo, Gemma has been sleeping through the night for a few months now! It's wonderful... She usually goes down 8-8:30ish and sleeps until I have to get her up at 5:15 to take John to the Park-and-Ride. The only downside is how full my boobs are in the morning. Ouch!

She had her four-month check-up yesterday with Jane. We love her so much. Gemma weighed 14lbs 2oz, measured 24 3/4 inches long, and had a head circumference of 16 1/2 inches. She's hitting 70-75% on everything. Still no vacs. Jane is super-understanding and great about our decision.

I'll have to come back later to update on the rest of our familly-goings on. The Gem-bot wants to play!

8 weeks, 4 days.

8 weeks. It feels like we've been doing this for both much longer and much shorter than that, if that's possible. On one hand, I can't believe that my little girl is so big already! (She'll officially be two months old on tomorrow.) Time is flying by. I feel like it'll be Christmas before we know it and the next time I blink she'll be turning 1. On the other hand, when I think back to her delivery and bringing her home (forget about the actual pregnancy), it feels like a lifetime ago.

Our little family is doing pretty well. We've bonded nicely, I like to think, and have settled into a routine that seems to work for us for now. John is absolutely in love with Gem. When she's at her worst--has been screaming non-stop no matter what we do, won't let us put her down for a second--and I'm expecting him to say how over it he is or how he blames me (I definitely was the one who wanted to get pregnant so soon, surprise or not) and scream at Gemma or me, he'll scoop her up and rock her and kiss her and tell me how much he loves being a dad and that he can't wait to do it all over again soon. It surprises me every time and I love him so much more because of it.

And Gemma has been kind of difficult lately. The past couple of weeks, she'd been horribly fussy, crying for long periods despite being dry, fed, and held. She's also had some trouble breastfeeding. Not that she or I can't do it, we still do, exclusively. It's more that it's not easy-going while she is nursing. She would let go and start crying and refuse the breast if I tried to give it back to her, then when I finally gave up, she'd freak out for it like she was starving. She'd get full, but it would take longer than I think it should've. Plus, despite eating and eating non-stop some days, she'd act hungry very soon after stopping. She's also been spitting up more than she used to (almost never). She finally had a bad day in front of Geri yesterday and when Geri went to work, she talked to one of her friends who is a lactation expert. She said she'd be happy to meet with me if I wanted--I'm going to talk to my pediatrician first and see if she can help since she's certified in lactation anyway--and that she's pretty sure it sounds like overactive milk ejection reflex. When Geri listed off the description, it hit dead on. I'm trying block-feeding, which is nursing several times in a row on one side (I'm pumping the other a little if it gets too full and saving the milk) and then switching and doing the same on the other side. It's supposed to help with two things: First, it should train my breasts to make a more (or less, I suppose) appropriate amount of milk. Second, one of the problems is that Gemma is most likely getting mostly foremilk, so she should be able to get the hindmilk she needs with the multiple feedings per side.

Sleepwise, she's been doing well. Still on her same schedule for the most part... Down between 8 and 10 (depending on what kind of day we've had) and usually up once between 1 and 4 (and sometimes once at 6) and then she'll go back to sleep until mid-morning. She usually takes two decent sized naps during the day. She's still in the co-sleeper for now. I was contemplating trying to move her to the crib after Wednesday, since she'll hit two months, but I think I'll probably wait until three. Honestly, it's more about the fact that the nursery's still not completely done (still waiting on Billy and the armoire--there are stacks of stuff and bins right now) and less about either of us not being ready. If September 19th rolls around and he's still dragging his ass on it, whatever. I'm just going to have to go ahead and figure something out. At three months, she's going to be sleeping in her own room one way or another.

I was experiencing this awful desperate feeling the past week and a half to find a job and get back to work. Not that I wanted to. It was quite the opposite emotionally. I have zero desire to work and be apart from Gemma. I have never wanted to do anything other than stay home with my kids and raise them 100%. John's just been dealing with some work stuff and we started to get worried like we do that we are never going to get out of here, that things are never going to change or get any better. I started to get terrified that it might actually be true and I felt awful about not helping or at least pulling my own weight. I started a crazy search for jobs and actually found a few decent sounding possibilities, hours/pay-wise. In the end though, we came to a tough decision that is going to suck, but one that will allow me to stay home with Gemma and give us the push we need to start our own lives, separate from everyone else. John has looked and looked for a local or at least regional driving job with no luck. With the economy the way it is and insurance companies cracking down, you need a minimum of three years experience behind the wheel of a tractor trailer. Not exactly promising for a recent graduate. Sooo, he's going to sign up with TMC. Out of all the possibilities out there, they seem the best. He'll make great money ($45-60k starting) and they promise you home every weekend. (Actually, they say 46/52 weekends, but only because they have no control over things like weather and freak occurrences. They try for every weekend.) Other companies have you out on the road for weeks at a time, sometimes over a month, and then you only come home for a few days. This will be terrible, but we can deal with it. We have to deal with it. Then, after a couple years, he'll have the background he needs to get a great job in whatever area we decide to settle in. We're just going to have to suck it up and make the best of it for now.

In other news, I'm a little freaked out right now. I know I'm just being insane and paranoid and ridiculous, but I've been feeling kind of... pregnant the past week. Like I said, I'm sure I'm just being stupid but it's not impossible. It happens. Often. At least more often than I'd like to hear about. It's unlikely that I am, but how awful would that be? Not the baby. I'd love the baby. I'd be over the moon if I found out that I was and would never regret it. We'd find a way to handle it. But for now, as long as I'm under the impression that I'm not currently pregnant, I'd like to stay that way. Just until we're on our feet and on our own. The second we're out of here, I'd do it again. I can't wait to. It's just not the right time. We'll see, though. Hopefully, probably, I'm just sick. Maybe I caught something somewhere. I've just been feeling that nauseous-hangovery feeling and have been utterly exhausted. (And not taking care of baby exhausted. Different, and very suddenly. The kind where at 6:30, I'm totally ready for bed and can't keep my eyes open. Like I did in October and November last year.) It's just... that feeling, you know? It's crazy how once you've been pregnant once, you know exactly what it feels like. Oy.

Okay, well it's 7am and everyone's finally up and out. (Gem and I have been going since we dropped John off at 5.) Now that I don't have to worry about waking anyone up, it's time to go work out. Then it's shower and off to Geri's. Angel's been in town for a few days, but she's leaving this afternoon and it'd be nice to see her one more time.

Back soon. (Hopefully without shocking news!)

5 weeks, 5 days.

Well, it's been a while since I've updated. That little girl, despite being a teeny tiny thing, keeps me quite busy during the day. She is growing leaps and bounds already and is doing swimmingly!

Gemma was 6lbs. 15oz. at birth, 6lbs. 9oz. when we left the hospital two days later, and 6lbs. 8oz. at her first pediatrician appointment at five days old. Well, slightly under two weeks later, she had her first real ped. appointment (the other one was just a quick jaundice check) and was already up to 7lbs. 10.5oz. Then two weeks later at her one month appointment, she was all the way up to an even 9lbs.! She also went from 20.5" to 22" in that first month. I can't believe how quickly she's growing. She's out of her newborn diapers and into 1s and is working her way out of all her newborn clothes and into the 0-3s.

She has great head control already. She is so alert and loves to look around with her enormous, gorgeous eyes. She's starting to gurgle and we swear we've caught a real smile or two. She nurses like crazy, but very well. No problems to speak of there. She's a great napper and actually sleeps rather well at night... On an average night, she wakes up fully once between 1 and 3am and then has a little fussy time (just needs a quick snack before drifting back off) around 5 or 6. Other than that, she sleeps like a rock.

We've settled into a nice little routine for the most part. Gemma is pretty easy to take out, which we do quite often. It's been a fun summer so far.

John and I are doing well. I'm still enjoying being home for now. He's doing great at his job with Sublett Floors. He loves it. Now that everything has settled down, we want to start working and saving towards our goals... getting out of here, getting our own place, planning the next little baby!

Oops, she's up and hungry. More later!

2 weeks, 3 days. (SHOULD say 39 weeks, 4 days.)

Yep. I figured I should get around to updating this now that it's been two and half weeks. Oops.

So, yes. Dr. Rafi jokingly asked me to stay pregnant until that Thursday, the 18th, when I would officially turn 37 weeks and Gemma could be considered full-term by the nursery staff and avoid annoying tests and stuff. She said she fully expected to see me for future appointments. Well, my body heard the request for Thursday and complied, but after that all bets were off...

Friday morning, John and I both woke up at 5am to get ready for work, like any other Friday. He beat me out of bed by a few seconds and went into the bathroom. I stood up and felt like I was kind of peeing myself and yelled at him to get out of there. I went to the bathroom and there was... stuff coming out of me. The rest of my plug, I'm guessing, as well as some amniotic fluid. I guess I was one of those people that doesn't experience a huge gush, but rather a steady leak. A pretty strong contraction hit me too and we both appropriately freaked out.

Everyone tells a first-time mom that her first labor will be a long process. That the average length is anywhere between 10 and 20 hours. They tell you that when it starts, take a shower, a nap if you can... Dr. Rafi told us, since we were coming from so far (we live 45 minutes to an hour from St. Agnes), that we should leave for the hospital when the contractions were 5 minutes apart. If it was a Sunday and there was beach traffic, to leave when they were 8 to 10 minutes apart. Well, after that first one, I noticed the next two came at a rate of about 10 to 12 minutes. Plennnnty of time, right? I decided to take a shower cause I didn't know exactly when I would be able to next and John left to meet his boss at the Park-and-Ride and tell him that he wouldn't be going in to work. (It's only 5 minutes down the road from us.) By the time I got out of the shower and John got back, maybe 10, 15 minutes later, they were suddenly maybe 6 minutes apart, out of nowhere. They were hitting me hard too. Every time one would hit, I'd either end up on the floor on my hands and knees or laying down, rolling around, on the couch or bed. I eventually managed to get myself dressed during the downtime between a few of them, brush my teeth, and throw some stuff into a bag. (No, we didn't have a hospital bag packed, I know. We were still supposed to have three weeks left!) Now they're coming every 3 or 4 minutes. John threw all our crap into the car, including putting the carseat--yet to be installed--into the trunk to deal with later. We scrambled in the car, myself, John, and Shari, and lit off for the hospital.

By the time we got to the gate at the end of our mile long driveway, I told him I wasn't going to make it to Baltimore and to take me to Anne Arundel Medical Center in Annapolis. I was screaming and moaning and cursing through every contraction as he sped down the roads and I know (they later confirmed) that both John and Shari assumed it was a typical Megan-overreaction, that they were in for a very long day of this, that everything would be fine. Well, by the time we got to the main road, after a couple of back roads, I told him I wasn't going to make it to Annapolis and they decided to take me to the Kent Island satellite site of AAMC that is supposed to have emergency care services. We pulled up to the front door and Shari ran in. She came back out a minute or two later with a woman in a white coat. Help at last, I assumed, relieved. This woman opens my door and tells me that she's a dermatologist, but will give it a go if I want, after which she thrusts a white paper sheet and me and asks me if I want to take off my pants. In the parking lot. With a dermatologist. NO, THANK YOU. I DON'T THINK SO. The only other person in the building at that hour apparently was a secretary, so she decided to call an ambulance. Fortunately, the fire department shares a big parking lot with this place, so they weren't coming from far. Still took a few (desperate and painful) minutes, but they finally drove over and a couple of EMTs (a man and a girl who looked about my age) helped me into the back. John had to ride up front and Shari followed in our car. The bill they sent me says they got the call at 7:37am.

They said they were trained for this kind of emergency, but had never actually delivered any babies. The girl was in the back with me and helped me take off my pants and underwear and kept stealing peeks down there, but when I started saying I needed to push (okay, screaming and crying and downright pleading) she kept saying, "No, no, no! Don't do that! Don't push! BREATHE through it." We got over the bridge and shockingly pulled off at the toll booth administration building. Apparently there was an EMT team in the area who could actually handle the situation and a woman got on with us and we took off again. She put an IV in and gave me oxygen. My contractions were about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes apart during the ride to the hospital.

We finally got there and they unloaded me and wheeled me into an exam room downstairs. (I have no idea what part of the hospital we were in, I was out of it.) A nurse asked me a series of questions--"How old are you?" "24." "Is this your first baby?" "Yes." "Aw, congratulations. When did you start feeling it?" "About 5 this morning. Oh, I need to push! Ouch, it hurts! Oooooh, shit! Shit!" "Calm down. You're gonna be fine, sweetie. I know, it hurts, but you've got a while to go so just try to breathe and be calm... I'm just going to take a look and see how far you've dilated, okay?"--stuck a couple of gloved fingers in--"Whoops! Nevermind, I see a head! Let's get you upstairs." Upstairs we went to the L&D floor. My body started pushing with the contractions a little bit in the hallway. They decided to leave the consent forms for later and wheeled me into a room with a bunch of nurses and a doctor I'd never met before (who turned out to be the coolest lady ever, one I credit for what a great delivery experience I had) and got me ready to go, still in my very own green t-shirt, as the cellphone pictures will show. (No time to grab the real camera.)

Within a minute or two, they were coaching me to push, John holding my right foot and nurse Joy (who I loved) holding my left. Out popped Gemma Rae at 8:36am, very easily and, I have to admit, almost entirely painlessly. While the contractions tore me up, I found the actual birthing part of it to feel very natural.

I didn't tear. I needed three stitches, but they were scattered on the inside due to a few tiny friction spots and she only stitched them because I tend to bleed and I was then.

Gemma weighed in at 6lbs, 15oz and measured 20.6 inches long. She did great on the Apgar. John gave her her first bath and she nursed like a champ.

While nothing went according to plan and it was pretty frightening in the moment, I don't think I could've asked for a better experience. I am so grateful everything turned out so well and that it was so easy.

Now all that's left is to raise this little stinker! :)

36 weeks, 6 days.

Went to my appointment yesterday. Not the same kind of bleeding as before (back in January from vaginal activities), which I had kinda (sadly) assumed was the case. My plug's out! As of yesterday, I was 80% effaced, 1cm dilated, and she was at -2 station. We're on our waaaay. Dr. Rafi said that it could always, of course, just stay like that and take a while but her professional opinion is that I will, indeed, go early. She asked me to try my best to stay pregnant until at least Thursday so I'd be 37 weeks and full term when she saw how excited I was, heh. I'm scheduled to see her again on Tuesday and she said she expects to see me then, but not to be surprised if things start happening in the next week to 10 days.

Gotta get stuff DONE!

36 weeks, 5 days.

23 days to go. Twenty-three. That's so nuts.

Today starts the weekly OB appointments. At least it should if Dr. Rafi doesn't screw me over like she's been known to do. This past weekend, I was having some major contractions (they felt different than the ones I've had before that were obvious Braxton Hicks contractions) and then Sunday afternoon I started getting a brown, mucousy discharge. (Sorry, but it's true.) I'm definitely glad I was already scheduled for an appointment this morning. John and I are betting she comes early. I'd love to still have a couple of weeks, but we're thinking we won't make it out of June. (Okay, so maybe we're hoping, but it still would be our luck.)

Dresser is FINALLY done. John finished staining it last night. Just have to clean it off and out and bring it up to the nursery. Then I can finally start putting stuff away. I did all the laundry and it's folded and waiting in a basket for it's proper place. Apparently Billy is going to be his normal self and not get the armoire up here until after the 26th. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown in the meantime, but whateverrrr. I think we're going to hit Rockville one more time this weekend so I can take something back to Buy Buy Baby (and make a last run through, of course) and get all my anal organizational/storage stuff at The Container Store. Then I'll have everything away in her room and the bathroom (did that last week) and all that'll be left to do is install the carseat (I have to wait until I stop working so I can get the girls' carseats out of there) and get all the carseat related stuff out of here, find a place in the kitchen for all the kitchen stuff, and find something to do with all the extra other stuff. Oh, and find something pretty for her walls. OH! And get the curtains up. And find a nightstand and lamp. And maybe a rug, but that may have to wait until we can afford it. And then I'll be done. Ahh, I have so much to do. Why am I still on here?

Back after my appointment, I suppose.

34 weeks, 4 days.

It's June today! I can officially say our baby will be here next month. How crazy is that?

Shower was actually kinda fun. Still a lot of people missing that I would have rather had there, but it turned out to be a good day. The weather stayed beautiful, everyone who did come was great, the house looked so pretty, the cake was (unfathomably) enormous but good... Got some good stuff. Still need so much, of course, because everyone loves to give you the cute stuff versus the practical stuff, but we got some money and gift cards that can go towards it as well as a few things we're going to return. Plus there are still people who couldn't make it that I know will send gifts so perhaps they'll knock a few more things off of the registry. Honestly, I can't wait to go shop now that it's all said and done. We've got 38 days till my due date (I seriously CANNOT wrap my mind around that. It sounds so much shorter than 5 1/2 weeks.) and I'm in full-blown "Let's get this DONE!" mode.

Today also starts my last four weeks of work. Only three more Mondays to go after this. I'm really nervous about it from a financial standpoint, but otherwise, I'm so ready. I burnt out on this job a long time ago and it's time to say goodbye. Now to get through the next four weeks. It's not going to as easy as I'd like... It's actually the worst time of year I could be doing this. Storytime ended for the season last week, so we don't have a planned activity for Wednesdays anymore. Summer programs at the library will be starting up this month, but most of the dates are in July. I am really happy though that we'll get to do Stevens Puppets one more time before I'm done. The girls love that. Also, next Wednesday is Sonja's last day of school, so I'll have all three of them with nothing to do. She makes things so much more difficult. Then there's the heat. I've handled this pregnancy amazingly well so far--I really haven't had a hard time with anything--until the heat. And with all three girls and all their friends out for the summer, they'll want to be outside all the time. I physically can't handle it sometimes. And last, but not least, this Friday Miranda goes in for her surgery. That means Juliana and Ian will both be off from work Friday through at least Tuesday, in my way and making things extremely hard and uncomfortable.

Sigh. Oh well. Twelve days to go. Twelve days to go. (Official work days, I mean.) I'm just going to keep counting them down and knocking them out and looking forward to the crazy summer ahead of me. It's going to be amazing.

34 weeks, 2 days.

SHOWER DAY. I'm really not looking all that forward to it, if I'm being totally honest. A lot of people I was excited to have here can't make it because there's so much else going on rght now. And then all the people who Shari and Geri said I was obligated to invite but wouldn't have to worry about showing up are actually coming.

Shari took off yesterday to prepare everything. I worked all day. Well, I got home after work yesterday to find her "sick" in bed, leaving John and I to do all the grocery shopping (which I paid for and she still hasn't paid me back) and then all the cleaning. Of course today, now that it's all done, she's miraculously healed. Argh.

Everything went well at our appointment on Tuesday. Dr. Rafi said everything's looking great. She wanted me back in two weeks, but she apparently forgot she was going on vacation that week, so I'm going back in three. That'll hit at almost 37 weeks though, so after that it should be down to weekly visits. I can't believe it's almost over! She's gonna be here before we know it. Crap, there's so much to do!

Okay, well I'm going to get off of here and try to get some stuff taken care of before the out-of-towners start their early arrivals. I'm sure they'll be plenty to update with after this afternoon.