Before it starts to blur in my memory...

I have a lot to catch up on, but I want to get my birth story out and down before all the details start to get fuzzy.

35 week appt... Nothing happening. Closed up tight, Levi snuggled in and growing strong. There was an issue, however, with one of the midwives, Susannah, thinking he might be breech. She sent me for an ultrasound, where I was informed (thank GOD) that wasn't the case. He was definitely head down and looking great. An afternoon of really high mental stress, but it all ended well and I got a wonderful free 3D/4D glimpse of him so it wasn't all bad.

8/4: 36 week appt... 80% effaced and 3cm dilated. THREE. Yes, I knew some women could walk around like that for weeks sometimes, but Gemma's eventful delivery had me scared. I was 1cm dilated with her on a Tuesday afternoon and she came hard and fast on Friday. I went home and cleaned like crazy, did our laundry, got a shower and did my hair, packed my bag. And sat. And waited. Nothing.

8/11: 37 week appt... Now 3-4cm. Lost my plug. Had contractions off and on all week, sometimes 5 minutes apart for 3 or 4 hours but they were never painful and always tapered off eventually. It was so frustrating. We thought every night was the night and it never was.

8/18: 38 week appt... Went from 3-4cm to "a good 4." I was beginning to think he was never going to come. Granted, I still had two weeks to go until I was even due, but I was having contractions constantly, had lost my plug a week prior, and had been almost halfway dilated for over a week. My body was ready, I think Levi was just holding on for dear life in there. Susannah recommended some homeopathic remedies to give labor a nudge if my body was so inclined. I went directly to Whole Foods to get them and started them immediately.

8/19: I woke up around 4:30am to pee. Everything was normal, went back to sleep. John's alarm went off at 6 (he miraculously happened to have off that day and was planning to go work on the house) and he got up and went into the bathroom. I was laying in bed, still half asleep, when I realized something felt off. It hit me that my pants were wet. Not insanely wet but I knew I hadn't peed myself and it had to be something. I ran in and told him to get out of the bathroom and let me in. Eerily familiar, except this time no contractions hit, no more leaking. I called the birth center and told them I felt stupid but I wanted to talk to a midwife because I wasn't sure if my water had broken or not. This was around 8:30. (I got a shower and ready before I called, just in case I had to go.) The receptionist said they were busy with four women delivering but someone would call me back when they could. John decided to stick around, obviously, and we just ran errands and hung out with Gemma, waiting for something to start. I finally heard back from David around 1:30. He said that normally they'd just tell me to wait and let nature take its course but because of my positive Group B Strep test and my previous fast labor, he wanted me to come in and get checked out. If it had broken, he'd want to get my antibiotics in me and get things moving because there was only a certain window of time that it was safe.

We zipped home, threw all our stuff in the car, just in case, and got over there as fast as we could. David did an exam and said that the tests didn't seem to indicate a break, however there could have been a small leak (which seemed to match up with the amount I'd noticed earlier) that could have sealed itself back over. He surprised me though by also informing me that I was now, 24 hours later, 6cm dilated. I was still having contractions... stronger than before but still not painful at all. He said it was up to me, but if I wanted, he could send me over to AAMC and, once we got the antibiotics in for the appropriate amount of time, break my water and see if that got things rolling. Looked like we were having a baby tonight!

We drove to the hospital and waited for a room. (It was a madhouse that day; a million people seemed to have delivered at the same time.) Geri came and picked up Gem and took her home. They settled us into a L&D room and started the first course of antibiotics. That was at 5. David said he was going to come back at 7:30 to break my water. I called Mollie and she came to wait with us. David finally came in around 8:15 and broke my water. (And, yep. It's just as fun as everyone says it is. Yuck.) Before he did that, I was at 7cm. I was on intermittent monitoring and had been having steady contractions. They had been of decent strength but I had yet to feel anything other than the tightening, really. Well, within a minute or two (literally) of David breaking my water, a hard, painful contraction hit. I immediately felt doubtful of everything I had been so sure of up until that point. All of a sudden, I didn't think I could do it. I imagined hours of that pain and thought there was no way. I got up to go to the bathroom one last time and three more contractions happened within the window of a couple minutes while I was in there.

I asked Mollie to find the nurse (Holly, she was so great) and tell her that I was already starting to feel the pressure to push. I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes and tried to relax. We studied and I practiced in the weeks leading up to the big event and the Bradley book was honest that it wouldn't be easy, but trying to just be quiet and still and actually relax through contractions seemed like the most insane, impossible idea in the moment. But then Mollie and John turned down the lights and both quietly encouraged me and instructed me and reminded me why I was doing what I was doing and were right on top of whatever I needed. It started to work, it started to get easier. The contractions that I tensed up during and yelled and freaked out hurt so much worse than the ones that I breathed and went limp through. It actually made them surprisingly bearable.

The only thing I had a bit of a problem with was that everything happened so fast that I ended up in a position that I didn't want or like at all. I was extremely uncomfortable when I was pushing, but all I could think about was keeping my focus and I felt paralyzed. There was no way I could've moved or changed positions, despite the fact that I told them several times I needed to.

Anyway, David returned and quickly checked me. I was at 9cm. He said I could try pushing whenever I was ready and see if that would open things up the rest of the way. Everyone was in position and ready and a contraction came and I just didn't feel like it was time, which I told him and he was fine with. I didn't even think about it with the next one though, my body just pushed all on its own. David and Holly had actually turned away for a moment for some reason and I was kind of pushing on my own. I think I pushed two or three more times and his head was out, followed quickly by his little body.

Levi Rowan Adams was born at 9:31pm, weighing 7lbs even and measuring 19.5" long. He was pink and perfect. He cried immediately, but quieted right down as soon as they put him on me. I held onto him for a while, he wasn't immediately whisked away like Gemma was. They eventually took him over to weigh him and check him out while David examimed me (not a single, tiny tear, thank you very much) and I don't think John broke physical contact with him the entire time. He was nursing before 10 and didn't stop for hours.

After things settled down, John and I made the obligatory calls and texts to all the important people. Loy came and picked Mollie up a little after midnight. I think John and I finally got to sit and chill and eat some dinner around 3 or 4am. (I seriously think it doesn't matter what time you have your baby, they will always seem to have you awake and going until 3 or 4 in the morning that first night.) I would have loved to be able to deliver at the birthing center where they'll discharge you after 6 hours, but my miserable insurance company would allow me to use a midwife but only deliver in a hospital and required me to stay 2 days. So we stayed, whatever. It was fine. I really just missed and worried about Gemma, though she was in good hands here with Geri. People came to see us, it was nice. Gemma was so excited when we told her the night before that she'd finally get to meet her brother the next day and her reaction to seeing him did not disappoint. We had Geri drop her off before anyone else came, so she could have some time alone to adjust to him and we could spend a few moments as a little family.

All in all, I could not be more pleased about this birth experience. I got to go to the hospital totally calmly, not really even in active labor yet, completely prepared. Everyone was where they needed to be... John was with me from start to finish (and had the next several days off, which never happens), Gemma was covered and we were able to say goodbye and explain to her what was happening, Mollie was able to get there easily. And yet, it was a super fast, easy, enjoyable labor and delivery. (Do not mistake that to mean that it wasn't extremely painful and taxing and very hard work. That said, it is still the most amazing thing that you can ever experience and is always, always worth it.)

The first week was a bit tough, what with an earthquake and a hurricane--complete with a three day, out-of-state, short notice evacuation--but that's all life. Levi, for the most part, has been insanely (almost unbelievably) easy to handle. He has meshed right into our life. We haven't really had to adjust too much, schedule-wise, because of him, he's just taken to the way we do things. Honestly, Gemma has been the one who's been the handful. She's been really sweet with her brother--she loves him sooo much and takes every chance to kiss him and hug him and tickle him--but she's still acting out. She's not listening to a word we say, she's getting extremely defiant (and occasionally violent), she's being very selfish and demanding. Granted, these things may all come along with being two, but I'm sure adding another kid into the mix isn't helping matters. We'll survive.

So here I sit, two weeks later, though it feels like a lifetime. Kid asleep on my lap, all cozy and warm and soft. Now that he's here and we're not anxiously waiting for that possibly scary moment when we have to drop and run, we're ready to focus on getting everything else in life settled, finally. Starting tomorrow. And now that's it's 1am, tomorrow is coming up fast, so I'm going to go. Hopefully there will be much more to cover in the future and actually time to do so!